But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Once you have worked on reducing triggers and reactions, it’s time to give careful consideration to the bigger challenges. To help with this, you can conduct an honest self-assessment of what you have been struggling with, and where you are today as a result.
Across each of the three growth improvement areas – Mind, Body and Spirit – honestly assess where you are today (on a scale of 1 – 10, where 1 represents that the item is not an issue for you, and 10 is the worst of issues for you)
Body
| # | Body Challenges | No Issue | Challenged | Serious Shortfall |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Drinking alcohol | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 2 | Drug use | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 3 | Eating healthy (timing, caloric intake, diet mix) | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 4 | Drinking healthy (water and tea vs. soft drinks and coffee) | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 5 | Sleeping well | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 6 | Dietary supplements (vitamins, probiotics, etc.) | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 7 | Regular anaerobic exercise (daily weight lifting, yoga, etc) | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 8 | Regular aerobic exercise (daily walking, running, biking, spinning, elliptical, etc). | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 9 | Frequent / chronic illnesses | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 10 | Reliance on prescription medicines | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 11 | Weight / body mass | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
Total Body Score:
Mind
| # | Mind Challenges | No Issue | Challenged | Serious Shortfall |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Depression / Hopelessness | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 2 | Anxiety | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 3 | Anger / Outbursts | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 4 | Self Esteem | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 5 | Work and career (supportive of your journey and aligned to the new you) | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 6 | Family relationships | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 7 | Friend relationships | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 8 | Partner relationships (dating and commitment) | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 9 | Growth mindset (including consuming podcasts and books) | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 10 | Fun and play | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 11 | Meditation | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
Total Mind Score:
SPIRIT
| # | Spirit Challenges | No Issue | Challenged | Serious Shortfall |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Grace for yourself | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 2 | Forgiveness of your sins | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 3 | Forgiveness towards your loved one who passed | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 4 | Forgiveness of others who have hurt you | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 5 | Regular prayer and conversations with God | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 6 | Believe God has a new plan for you | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 7 | Regularly read the Word / Bible | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 8 | Participate in regular Bible studies / spiritual peers | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 9 | Leverage a spiritual mentor | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 10 | Regularly attend church | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
| 11 | Regularly serve the church / others in groups / charity | 1 2 3 | 4 5 6 7 | 8 9 10 |
Total Spirit Score:
For each section, sum up the score for each row into a total for each section – Mind, Body and Spirit.
Print this page, or better, download the PDF version of the GRIEF Challenges assessment.
You are unique and the level of your score is not meant to provide a judgement or to be used in comparisons, but to provide you personal guidance as to where you may want to prioritize your efforts, looking at where you scored highest – first which section Mind, Body and Spirit, and then within each, where you still might have challenges to overcome and work to do on your way to Growth.
And you can use the assessment over time to track process and reassess priorities, maybe every three to six months.
For me, this assessment helped me to clearly see that over time I had made good progress on Body, and on Mind, but that my Spiritual growth was lagging. I needed to do more work here on Spirit in order to grow and the GRIEF Challenges assessment clearly indicated where my current deficits were and where my priority efforts needed to be.
